Speckledpaw

• Name: Speckledpaw

Past/future names: Ravenkit, Speckledraven

Speckled - For his speckled pelt

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Gender identity: Male - He/Him

Romantic Orientation: Biromantic

Sexual Orientation: Demisexual

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Rank: Apprentice

Age: 17 moons

Current clan: Windclan

Past/future clan: N/A

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Appearance: Speckledpaw is a medium-furred, lanky tom with spiky fur and small eyes. He is primarily midnight black, with a musky light hue of purple like the night sky, with black accenting his chest and belly and a small white dot in the middle, and two white spots next to his eye, and one white front left paw. His fur is continuously darker nearer to his paws, fading gradually to a much darker color. Speckledpaw also has small black ears and black spots along his flank. The tom has quite a strong build. Although not many visible muscles, other than in his legs, proving his claims of spending much time running, he does prove himself to be quite strong when it comes to overcoming natural events. He is taller than most cats, though rather lithe, and fragile looking, so he cannot easily intimidate others with his skinny looking build and short fur. If anything, he does look battle worn and somewhat unsettling with two, long, rough scars down his side. His entire left side of his face is scared, mostly with his left eye and ear absent. His right eye is colorless, like frosted, glittering ice and always full of hope.

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Allegiance description: Skinny, midnight black tom with a white chest, belly, paw, darker spots and ears, and one colorless like ice eye.

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Disabilities: Scarred, left half of face, missing eye. Half blind.

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Personality: 

Speckledpaw is a tricky cat. He used to be soft, scared of everything, and kind, but when he lost his entire family, he changed entirely, turning cold, reserved, and distant. He stops himself from interacting at social events, even if all he wants is to interact, which doesn't help his mental state most of the time, especially when all he really wants is a hug. Similarly, he doesn't like to be asked questions, and he doesn't really like to be talked to at all, unless he talks to a selected cat. Even with his cold demeanor, his old self is still really his personality.

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Secretive --- Speckled despises secrets or hearing them. As a matter of fact, for a cat like him, someone may assume that he would love to hear secrets to know about cats, potentially to use them for advantage. In reality, though, it's the opposite. Secrets feel like a burden to him. He believes that it hurts the cat who holds them, or tells them, because they could do anything with the secret, and he hates feeling that way. He considers secrets a horrible thing in general, and they aren't worth having. After all, when he kept secrets, it only led to trouble in his past, and when he lost his family, it just seemed to amplify the feeling of distrust in secrets themselves. His distaste for keeping secrets is almost like a defense mechanism as well, because he knows that no cat would tell him their secret if he says he hates them, or just won't keep them at all. Though he is still unsure of why he hates keeping secrets entirely, he still avoids them at all costs and will continue to do so, perhaps because he hates feeling vulnerable.

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Skittish --- Speckled is a very fearful cat. He doesn't like being in awkward, scary, or dangerous situations, or anything else that feels scary to him in general. He tries to cover up his fear after losing his family, but deep down he always is, so he'll always make an excuse to avoid something he isn't comfortable with. He closely follows his gut feeling, so if he feels unsafe, he'll do anything to feel differently, because he knows fear is power, control, and all he wants is to be in control, so it's not an option for him, like life or death.

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Independent --- He likes to do things on his own; he doesn't like bothering other cats with his issues, especially if they could use them to harm him in some kind of way. He also just likes doing things his own way. He knows if he does something with another cat, they may want to do something else, and he hates that since he wants to always be in control of what's happening and what cats do. Speckled fears that if he gives control to another, they may misuse it, as if only he is responsible and no one else is. 

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Negative --- Speckled is extremely negative. He always thinks the worst, like if he misses prey, he's the worst hunter in all the clans. Since he lost his mother, he is sure everything is going to go wrong, and it is all his fault. For strange reasons, he feels uncomfortable with compliments and more comfortable with insults. Not only is he awful with himself, but also with other cats. Because of his insecurites, he also projects those problems onto other cats. Since he knows doing something wrong can lead to awful things, he is harsh with others and not only himself.

[WIP personality]

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